Today I Have Been Mostly...(#13)

Looking...taller than usual due to wearing heels to work for the first time in months!

Feeling...pretty good overall, the sunshine is cheering me up even though I have a slightly sore throat and am singing tomorrow!

Eating...Raisin Wheats for breakfast - first time I've had a proper breakfast at home before leaving for work in months.  Haven't eaten anything since though and I'm not rumbling yet!

Drinking...water and a cup of tea.

Being...bored because there is suddenly very little to do, when all week has been crazy busy.

Having...quite an eventful weekend to look forward to.

Going...out for some sun at lunchtime, better make the msot of this last-ditch attempt at summer!

Getting...a little inspiration from someone trying to make a career change, but knowing I probably won't make one myself.

Trying...to sort out the confusion in my head.

Thinking...about what I have to pack when I get home, what I'll need for Saturday night, what I should wear to work on Sunday, whether I should go to the gym on Sunday or make the most of the sun in the park before watching the Spurs v. Arsenal game....decisions, decisions.

Wondering...whether this feeling will pass, or if it's a sign that things need major changes?

Giving...a colleague a send-off later who is retiring early after 20 years here.  This place sucks you in and keeps you here!

Seeing...beautiful sunshine and blue skies....and lots of students on the lawn who have free time to enjoy it!

Doing...work, in between sending non-work related messages. 

An End

You appear in my thoughts more than I’d like.

I wonder if you are happy, knowing that you most probably are.

Even if you weren’t, I doubt I would feel better. 

Did you meet Irene?  Maybe she saw your family and friends instead,

If you are living your own West-side story the way my snooping suggests,

Living in the birthplace you swear you told me about, but I know you didn’t.

Has she made you a dad?  My heart stops.  The final nail.  But a bittersweet happiness.

Life has separated us in so many more ways than one.

Do you ever think the same, wonder about me?

Am I a distant shadow from the past, a long-faded memory,

Or one you have locked away to keep from your present?

Did you hope for my safety when my home was ablaze?

Wonder how much I witnessed or how close I came?

Or perhaps watched in horror like anyone else,

With objective compassion, like you had no connection.

You didn’t stop moving the moment I left,

The sadness ignited you rather than froze you in time.

Progression suits you, I would just hold you back,

Stagnating in my own self-pity.  I am still here.

No news to share, no achievements to laud,

Same as it ever was.

You believed in me, at least for a time,

A flash of light in the gloom, until you shone elsewhere.

But maybe you never did.  Infatuated with an image,

An idea, an ideal.  The truth wasn’t as beautiful as she,

The reality more difficult than the fantasy.

In the end you took your bird in the hand by the hand,

Over any potential prize out in the bush.

How shrewd and sensible, a timely escape.  

I still feel the fool, but at least I am my own.

You deserve a happy ending, you worked hard to get it.

I will settle for an end to this.

Friday Fill-In #74

1. When I was 10 years old I had a brilliant primary school teacher who taught us this song:



2. The humble carrot is my favorite vegetable because I love eating them raw like bugs bunny and have done since I was little.

3. My dream pet is one that feeds and cleans itself and only comes to me for cuddles and company. Hey, that could just as easily be a boyfriend!  Lol!

4. What you put out there is what eventually surrounds you.

5. If I could live anywhere in the world I'd live in a place that had a more constant climate, at least for a little while.  I would miss the seasons, but really want at least one summer that is an actual summer with regular sunshine and warmth!

6. I am hoping that this weekend the sun will keep on shinin' on me.  It's beautiful out there today, let's hope it lasts!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the Friday night sense of relief, tomorrow my plans include nothing in particular other than hopefully enjoying a bit of sun and Sunday, I want to help Samson hang his new curtains - oh the excitement!

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of the fabulous Janet.
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