Friday Fill-In #19

1. I'd really like a clear head, different surroundings and a new adventure right now.

2. "Crapmonkeys!" or just a good, loud "Owwwwwwwww!" is the word you'd most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe.

3. A possession is not something I want to be.

4. I have quite the soft spot for Captain Jack Sparrow (just Johnny Depp in general, really).

5. Marshmallows and fire go together like me and sleep.

6. The love of God is neverending; it goes on and on.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having a rest, tomorrow my plans include a enjoyable day at church and a fun evening with Lolly and Sunday, I want to chill out with Lolly and maybe check out the V&A!

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet. Click the button to play too!

Saturday Night's All Right...part deux

Another group of English guys were standing there and announced their arrival with a loud chorus of

"Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

The other group of English guys, already on the platform, responded with an equally loud

"Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

This carried on, back and forth, for the time it took for them to reach their companions on the platform. One of Erin's friends started to say, "U. G. L. Y., you ain't got no alibi..." "Shut up, shut up!" I was thinking, silently willing her to keep that thought to herself, knowing how big groups of drunk guys can be and how easy it is to get caught up in a ruckus if you're not careful. As the new arrivals reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught sight of red and blue stripes on one of their shirts. Football fans. And if I was not mistaken, those were the colours of my local team. It's my Bro-in-law's team. I cringed a little. Somehow, Erin and her friends had got talking to one of the guys. They heard their accents and asked where they were from. It wasn't long before another more serious-looking guy chipped in with questions of his own:

"Are you lot Australian? Why do you lot always flock over here? We don't all go over there."

Thank goodness for that, my Aussie friends were no doubt thinking. Round 2.

"Are we paying for your stay here? Are you claiming benefits?"

Yes, he had been drinking. Unfortunately, he was also completely serious. By now, I was aghast with embarrassment and a little anger, but was trying not to engage them in conversation. One of our group mentioned the fact that she is actually British and has a British passport and got a high-five from the be-shirted man, who seemed a little more jovial than the others, perhaps because he seemed to be slightly more intoxicated than they were. Despite my avoidance tactics, he spied me, hidden behind my mostly taller companions.

"What are you doing, being all quiet over here?" he asked, coming over to have a little chat. Hearing my accent he exclaimed, "You're English!"

"Yes," I replied.

He hasn't noticed the beige, no-one knows I'm a half-breed. Keep him talking, keep him talking, he thinks I'm one of them! Lol.

"You're English, what are you doing with this lot?"

Fair question. Because, you know, one can't hang around with others who aren't of the same kind. In London? No! It's unheard of!

"I'm keeping them out of trouble."

"You should get them in trouble!"

"I don't think they need my help for that!"

Unfortunately for him, but mercifully for us, the group soon clocked on to the poor man dressed as Charlie Chaplin. Soon, all 10-15 or so of them were shouting,

"Charlie, give us a song! Charlie, Charlie, give us a song!
Charlie, give us a song! Charlie, Charlie, GIVE US A SONG!"

The poor guy had turned bright red, but was managing to see the funny side. It's not easy when that many big guys are chanting at you at 100 decibels. After no joy with persuading Charlie Chapin to give them a song, they continued with loud choruses of other football chants, all mostly offensive, borderline racist and seemingly having very little to do with football.

After what felt like ages, the train finally arrived, and we rushed to get on, hoping to avoid the football fans, but being forced to get on the same carriage they did. We then suffered 15 minutes of more shouting, which was even worse in an enclosed space. 'Highlights' include:

• A variation on a well-known chant called 'Ten German Bombers', to the tune of 'He's Got the Whole World in His Hands':
  

  "There was only one Muslim bomber on the tube,
  only one Muslim bomber on the tube,
  only one Muslim bomber on the tube,
  and the RAF from England shot him down."
  
  A rather sensitive and quite touching reference to Jean-Charles De Menezes, a Brazilian man shot dead by police on the tube after being mistaken for a terrorist suspect. He was neither Muslim nor a bomber.
  

• To the tune of 'When the Saints Go Marching In':
  

  "Oh South London is wonderful,
  South London is wonderful,
  [OK, maybe I can approve of this one, I am a South London gal after all...]
  It's full of t*ts, f*nny and Palace,
  South London is wonderfu!"
  [Er...maybe not.]

• To the tune of 'She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain':
  

  "We're the nicest fans in London when we win,
  We're the nicest fans in London when we win,
  We're the nicest fans in London, nicest fans in London,
  The nicest fans in London when we win.
  [Really? That's a reassuring though. But hang on, didn't you lose 4-3?]
  We're a nasty bunch of b*stards when we lose,
  We're a nasty bunch of b*stards when we lose..."
  [Oh. Right.]

It's always especially lovely to have your football chants set to the tune of well-known religious choruses. Adds a nice touch, don't you think? Other chants included references to serial killer Dr. Harold Shipman ("Did the doctor kill your mum?") and various other equally offensive things that I think I managed to block out. There were also some nice mentions of all Australians being convicts and suchlike, although they weren't set to music, so I think that just counts as actual verbal abuse.

Erin and her friends seemed to take it all in good humour, but I cringed at the behaviour of people that sum up all the negative traits of the English. Thank goodness I know enough English people who sum up all the positive aspects. After what felt like the longest 15 minutes of my life, we arrived at our station (which unfortunately was theirs too). Charlie Chaplin was subjected to another rendition of "Charlie, give is a song!" which will no doubt leave him thinking twice about going to a costume party on public transport again any time soon.

Our venue for the evening was right opposite the station, but we still didn't make the £5 cut-off point. We managed to shrug it off and get into party mode. Despite the journey, they say it's the destination that counts. We actually had a fantastic night in the end, with a completely mixed crowd, people of various backgrounds, all having a good time. I've never heard someone use the line "Excuse me, it's my birthday," so much in one night, for completely random reasons and often for no reason at all! Best time I've had in ages. I danced my sexy boots off. Happy Birthday Erin! Thanks for letting me share it with you.

Saturday Night's All Right...

Today is my Aussie workmate Erin's birthday. To see her birthday in with a bang, she decided to go dancing with her housemates last night and invited me to come along. We've become good friends in the year we've known each other, so I was really looking forward to joining in with her birthday celebrations. Plus, we haven't actually had a proper night out together since we've known each other, I haven't been dancing in a long while and I hadn't met her friends before, so there were lots of things to look forward to.

After get back to my place from being with the 'rents, I was running a little late (quelle surprise). Not having been out for a while to anywhere that requires anything resembling glamour, I spent several long minutes working out what I could wear that would look a little dressy, but would also not have me starting the night early by dancing at the bus stop just to keep warm. Try as I might, I'll generally always go for comfort or practicality over fashion and style, any day. I mean, not to an extreme. But if those gorgeous high heels that complement the rest of the outfit perfectly are going to give me an unattractive hobble within an hour of walking with them? I'll pass, thanks. In any case, the low-heeled boots I went with drew attention from a random teenage girl at the train station, who announced, "Her boots are sexy." I'm not always sure how to deal with complements from male randoms, but teenage girls? That's a new one to me. Anyway, I digress...

With affirmation of my choice of footwear from the local youth, I made my way over to Erin's place in She' Bu'.* Even though I live 20 minutes away from the place we were going to and had to pass it on the way, meeting at theirs meant I could meet the girls, have a quick bite to eat and we could all get there together. Although I have no problem with public transport, I forget that trains have fluorescent lighting and that make-up intended for the low, flattering lights of a bar or nightclub just borders on 'drag queen' when out of context. Eek. After a non-eventful journey there, I arrived at Erin's, met her three mates who were to be my company for the evening, and guy friend Nathan who had been chilling with them but wasn't brave enough to accompany five women on a night out. I don't blame him. :o)

I managed to stuff my face with pizza before we left, a teeny bit late, to get a bus to the station for the 9.15 train. The bus unexpectedly pulled over a stop short of the station, and Erin, ever-practical and quite anal in the most endearing way about the evening's plans, accosted the driver. "Don't you stop around the corner?" Apparently he did, but Erin was adamant that the bus wasn't meant to stop where it had done. "He's not meant to stop there! I'm telling you, I get this bus every day. The 207 does, but we're on the 260. He shouldn't have stopped there!" We teased her mercilessly about this for the rest of the journey. "Dear TFL, I'd like to make a complaint. At 9.10 on Saturday 24th January, a driver on the 260 bus let passengers alight at a stop that was not designated for his route!"

We got off the bus and said our goodbyes to Nathan, but Erin had already run across the road to the station. We followed after her, but checking the clock it seemed we had missed the train by 1 minute. The next one wasn't for 15 minutes, but we were pushing it to get there before 10pm, when the entrance fee would double from £5 to £10. We waited for the train, with a platform full of other people, of all different backgrounds - two Chinese men with several bags of shopping, a Filipino family with two children in buggies, a young black guy alone listening to music through his earphones, a young couple on their way to a party, the lady rather elegantly attired, the man dressed as Charlie Chaplin, complete with bowler hat, black moustache and black umbrella in place of a cane. There was also a group of 6 or so slightly drunk English men, still with pint glasses in hand, just next to us.

After waiting 5 minutes or so, we discovered our train was delayed. The usual generic announcement by a well-spoken female came over the tannoy, "I am sorry to announce that the 9.35 train is delayed. We apologise for any inconvenience." Erin expressed her annoyance at the delay, "Yeah, she'll be sorry for the inconvenience. She doesn't even sound sorry!" We were in stitches again. "Dear TFL, I'd like to lodge a formal complaint. On Saturday 24th January, the 9.35 train from Shepherd's Bush was delayed. The woman who announced it said she was sorry for this, but her regret was unconvincing! I want a refund!"

There was a long flight of stairs from the ticket office down to the platform. While standing on the platform, you could see the full length of the stairs. I was just musing on the incredible mix of people that were stood together on an ordinary Saturday night, waiting for a train, each person with very different plans for the evening ahead, when we were distracted by a noisy group of people at the top of stairs...

* That's Shepherd's Bush to the rest of us - I love how Aussies have a shortened version for everything. PS - I've only put a link explaining where Shepherd's Bush is, because I have it on good authority that Googling it can bring up search results you might not want to know about...

Friday Fill-In #18

1. Oh, I am so very glad for the weekend - and a 4-day one, nonetheless!

2. Afoot are changes, big and little.

3. During the past week, I have travelled the spectrum of emotions...can you say 'erratic'?!

4. My workmate alerted me to the notion of a handbag for £1500; are you kidding me???

5. Right now I'd like to be less poor, more settled, less cold. I'll be getting snuggled under my duvet in a bit, so one down, two to go! :o)

6. My laptop (does that count?) is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to chatting with the 'rents, tomorrow my plans include going to church, followed by lunch with the fam and then returning home to get ready for a night out with my Aussie Mrs and her girls for her birthday (can't wait!) and Sunday, I want to get up as early as I can manage after what will no doubt be a late night!

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet. Click the button to play too!

Definition of 'Exacerbate':

Telling me to "calm down" when I'm expressing my irritation over something. Do you want to see the Mini Hulk? Huh???

Friday Fill-In #17

1. Enough with the excuses. They're tired and I'm over it!

2. A differing opinion in the 'Heart versus Head' saga causes me to be conflicted.

3. I've been craving crisps with sour cream and chive dip.

4. My friend's choice of music to listen to in a crisis makes me laugh (sorry Mrs!).

5. I wish I could go to see a film or out to dinner next week - but my budget just won't allow for it.

6. The past and how it informs the future has been on my mind lately.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing the 'rents, tomorrow my plans include church with the fam and some chill time and Sunday, I want to sort out our living room and browse Laura Ashley home catalogues with Big Sis to dream up our fantasy living spaces!


Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet. Click the button to play too!

Lost For Words

A lot of words have been flying around lately. I've been involved in lots of serious conversations, some analytical, asking lots of questions and having them asked of me. I'm trying to figure out solutions and find answers and sometimes, I have been trying to understand what the real question is behind the question. Often, what you are being asked (or are asking) isn't the same as the information actually needed. In all of this I have been trying to express myself as honestly as possible, which is not always easy. After trying to do so verbally, without much success, I reverted to what I know best: words on the page. A friend reminded me that I was always better at expressing myself in writing. But, after days of talk and correspondence and prosaic expression, I find I am unable to string enough thoughts together to write something here.

I have another impending conversation that has the potential to drain me even further of any words to say. On the other hand, it might never happen. I have thoughts bubbling just on the surface of my mind at all times and I can say what I need to say if the situation requires it. But for now, any further analysis is just too much to engage in. I want silence. The serene, dreamless sea of nothingness, where words dissolve into the atmosphere unheard. I don't know if I am just fed up of talking, or if I'm just lost for words.

Friday Fill-In #16

1. It's January; it's cold, it's a new year, things are changing...and fast!

2. SLEEP! is what I crave most right now.

3. Cork and wine go together like um...screwcaps and bottles? I don't know!

4. My mum's famous lentil soup is so nourishing.

5. Let us dare to be different sometimes.

6. Right now, I would quite like to be in my home.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping off this migraine, tomorrow my plans include doing some stuff at church I'm not really prepared for and Sunday, I want to chill out, complete some errands and get my head clear!

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet. Click the button to play too!

Typecasting

Today I was told by my friend that my presence is very calming. To me, that was quite an interesting thing to hear. On the one hand, I was a little surprised. On the other hand, I was a little pleased. Surprised, because during the said time, my mind didn't always feel especially settled or calm. Pleased, because this obviously didn't show. Maybe I have managed the art of floating along gracefully like the swan, whose feet, hidden beneath the water's surface, are paddling furiously against the current.

It's odd how people tend to fall into roles. These past few days, my friend was having a turbulent time emotionally, so perhaps I subconsciously responded in a calming way. I can be quite talkative and out-going at times, but amongst other boisterous people I won't always fight for attention. I can retreat into my shell and keep my thoughts to myself quite easily, but when in a situation with a very shy or particularly quiet person, I will make conversation and try to draw them out a little if I can. Maybe we all play roles depending on our situation and the people around us. Or maybe, it's only those people who are used to playing mediator or diplomat, that do this?

The Mrs. and I each have someone that plays or played a dominant role in our respective lives. We might be well aware of ourselves and who we are, but when around those people, we seem to revert to the passive roles that we always played when around them. It seems that the dynamics are set in those relationships. Even if we have changed, even if those people have changed, even if the expectations or the nature of those relationships have changed, it's still hard not to just slip back into the old habits of behaviour. We are still playing a role that is not necessarily who we are, or is just an extreme version of a part of who we are. We are being the person that we think we are expected to be. The person that we think we have to be. The person we become in order to cope. The person we were made to think we were. I don't think you need to know or understand the fine details of those relationships to know that this behaviour and those relationships aren't especially healthy, or even honest for that matter. Maybe it is a coping mechanism, or an avoidance of conflict; it is damage limitation of one kind or another.

At times, the Mrs. and I have both had to play the mediator in our own families. We have often been the one who tries to get one person to see things from the other person's point of view, or has acted as go-between to try and resolve a situation. Or sometimes the person who just keeps quiet, while the arguments happen around them. She has had to do this at a much greater level and much more frequently than I have, but I know how it feels. It can be quite draining at times, tiring, frustrating, awkward and sometimes annoying. When you play this role, it becomes expected of you. You are then forever relied upon to be the 'calm' one, or the 'reliable' or 'sensible' one. You may not be given the same freedom for error as someone from whom such errors are expected. This is the problem with playing the same role time and time again. You get typecast.

I reckon we should audition for a new part this year. In fact, I am not even going to audition. It will be my own piece, one where I get to be the protagonist and not the Shakespearean fool, or the nurse, or the character whose limited speech serves only to moves the plot along. I am playing the lead for a change. It may not be what certain people are expecting, but it's good to keep one's audience on their toes.

Friday Fill-In #15

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet, whose father sadly passed away on New Year's Eve. My thoughts go out to her and her family. Please keep them in your prayers at this difficult time.

1. The world is a scary place/my oyster/not enough - can't decide which, yet. Maybe all three???

2. "Why does it always have to be an argument?" was the last thing I said.

3. I wonder where I am headed in 2009? I hope it's someplace good...

4. I hope I am privileged enough to still be alive at the end of all things.

5. There's something to be said for keeping your mouth shut, sometimes. :o)

6. Back at New Year's Eve is where I want to be.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to eating about 4 desserts, as my Dad insists on having every dessert available out on the table (currently pear and apple crumble, ice cream, cream, yum-yums and a madeira cake topped with crumbled Flake and Cadbury's buttons!), tomorrow my plans include going to church, but we haven't decided which, yet, and having a singing practice in the afternoon after several weeks of inactivity and Sunday, I want to tot up my bank charges so I can (hopefully) reclaim them, put my other stuff up for sale on eBay, and get mentally prepared to return to work on Monday (boo)!

Friday Fill-Ins come courtesy of Janet. Click the button to play too!