Life + Me = Non-Compatible

Today has been a total non-day. I intended to wake up early and have a full, productive schedule. Unfortunately, after a very late night on Saturday (for no real reason, I wasn't out partying), I was still wide awake at 3am on Sunday morning and consequently got up later than planned. I woke and washed, deciding to floss my teeth randomly and realising that not only is my mouth is still sore from my wisdom tooth growth, but my bottom front two teeth have annoyingly become a little more crooked because of it. After getting some breakfast and watching a little morning trash TV with Big Sis, I did a couple of loads of laundry and then tried to sort out our technical difficulties - our Sky+ remote is suddenly not working after only two weeks, and our PC won't connect to our new internet connection.

The troubleshooting with the remote proves fruitless. All the steps for restarting the system and re-establishing connection between the box and the remote don't work any. The only option is to order a new remote and in the meantime get up any time we want a channel change, which is more than a little annoying. I turn my attention to the PC. The router is directly connected to it, and my laptop successfully connects to the internet via a wireless connection to the router, but the PC gets no internet love. It doesn't really make sense. Big Sis has already spent at least one evening of untold enjoyment on the phone to technical help, but even after following all their advice there is still no joy. I decide to tinker around with it, disabling and removing a few programs and changing some of the settings. Without success, I search online with my laptop for advice. After most of the morning has passed, it seems as though the only solution is going to be to reinstall Windows. I am swiftly losing the will for anything. I have realised that working with non-cooperative technology is one of the few things that fills me with tendencies towards violence. Seething with frustration, I start to burn my music and photo files to DVD so that I can delete them off the machine. Six discs and a few hours later I really have lost the will to do anything of any purpose. Big Sis and I watch some more trash TV and after several episodes of paternity tests, cheating partners and disloyal family members on Maury, we are both feeling somewhat depressed. My plans for a productive day have slipped away.

After a delicious but rather late lunch of veggie sausages with roasted potatoes and grilled tomatoes from our garden, I finish my laundry, watch a little more TV and then retreat upstairs. I call Sky to order a new remote and get all assertive when they try and tell me we'll have to pay nearly £20 for it. I nearly start twitching with irritation. Don't even try that with me today, I've been messing with the stupid internet you've provided for hours and I am more than capable in this mood of arguing for a few more hours why I shouldn't have to pay for a new remote. I make my feelings known in the politest possible way and luckily for everyone involved, I don't even have to bring out the big guns. I go to report the progress to Big Sis and Bro-in-Law and then retreat back upstairs. Feeling utterly bored with the activities of the day and lamenting the fact that I was awake, I got on my bed crossways and just laid there. I can't really recall closing my eyes, but I am awoken an hour or so later by Big Sis entering my room to ask if I want so noodles and eggs. I am dazed and confused, but accept the offer gratefully. 15 minutes later I am still trying to get my bearings when Big Sis shouts up to tell me the food is ready. I stumble downstairs and try to shake off the sleepy feeling. I say grace for the food with relative difficulty, finding it heard to piece together sentences through the fog in my mind. We tuck in while watching TV and Big Sis laughs at my dazed demeanour. I have my plate and tray balanced on the arm of the sofa while I eat. Somehow, midway through my meal, I knock the tray over and it sends half the liquid from the plate and some of the noodles down the inside of the sofa arm and the seat cushion. I look at it in despair in what feels like slow motion, while Big Sis exclaims at me. I mechanically go and get damp cloths to mop up the mess, which seemingly takes ages.

After wiping up the mess and stripping the dirtied sofa covers, I decide to sit on the floor and eat at the coffee table, Japanese-style, to avoid any further accidents. After eating, I hang out my freshly-washed bed sheets to dry and manage to knock a glass off the coffee table. I watch it fall off the table with the same sense of slow-motion as I did the plate of noodles and brace myself for impact. Inevitably, it smashes and I sigh with disdain at how unsuccessful this day has been. Big Sis shouts down to check on me and laughs when I explain unenthusiastically what has happened. I start picking up the pieces of glass while she brings a dustpan and brush. I clean up for the second time in less than an hour and decide it's best if I just stay in my room and make no more attempt to function like a regular human being. It has been a typical Monday and I wasn't even at work. This day has been a write-off.