The Culmination

It's Miss T's birthday today. She thinks working on one's birthday is illegal, so rightly took the day off. I gave her a box each of Ferrero Rocher and mint Matchsticks yesterday. I got a text on my way to work this morning saying, "Thank you. I'll be fat when I get in on Monday." Er...I know I gave her two of her favourite kinds of chocolates, but I wasn't suggesting she finish them this weekend! Lol.

Boss Lady is off tomorrow, so today was a little busy as we finished up all the outstanding things we had been working on. A colleague in finance was pissing us both off by asking lots of last-minute queries, perhaps in part because she knew I was moving on. The last thing I needed to add to my to-do list was random queries involving information to a level of detail I failed to believe she really needed.

I had woken up feeling really hungry for some reason, so my usual two slices of toast in the office didn't really scratch the surface. By 12.30, I had to go and get me a chicken fajita wrap (it's my standard lunch pick of late) as my brain was wandering off the costs I was adding up for an invoice and onto take-away menus and yummy stuff.

The day seemed to fly by and I managed to cross off quite a few tasks on my to-do list. The things that would remain outstanding were much fewer, or at least less horrendous, than I had first anticipated, weren't going to kill anyone if I just had to hand them over and frankly, weren't going to be my problem anymore.

Before I knew it, it was nearing 5.00pm. "Oh, I keep forgetting to give you this," said Boss Lady, producing a potted plant from under her desk, wrapped with green tissue paper and cellophane. "It's a plant for your new desk," she said. My new desk hasn't been decided formally yet, but it is going to be one of three that are much closer to the entrance barriers, which are notorious for irritating students trying to ask questions across the barriers, in an attempt to avoid waiting in line to speak to someone at the main desk. "You can place it strategically on your desk so that you can hide behind it," she suggested, which I thought was a fabulous idea. "Is it a peace lily?" I asked, for a second getting them muddled up in my mind with calla lilies. "Yes," she confirmed, which seemed appropriate to help me fend off the increasing aggravation I am no doubt going to experience if I am getting bugged by cheeky queue-jumping students all day. I thanked her for the gift and asked what time she was leaving. "I was going to leave at 5.00pm," she said, which induced panic when I realised it was already 4.50pm and I had just remembered I hadn't even written her card yet. I sneakily did so once she had returned to her desk. I thanked her for being such a fab boss, telling her that I especially appreciated all her encouragement and support over the past, rather difficult, year. I wished her lots of happiness with her future plans, both in and outside of work. "Oh, it's not going to be the same," she said, doing a sad face. I pouted back. "I know, I might have to just come and sit here for a few minutes when I get back in on Monday."

Boss Lady eventually got up to leave at just after 5.30pm. She came by my desk on the way out to say goodbye and I handed her the card, which she seemed surprised about. "Aww," she said, "Shall we hug?" So we did. :o) "Have a lovely weekend in Budapest," I said, as she left. My new boss Flame-Grilled was the only other person in the office. "Make sure you look after her," she said to him, on her way out.

I stayed another 45 minutes, then headed out, feeling absolutely shattered and a little bit low. I stopped at the station to get food, before getting onto my train, getting a seat and feeling thankful to be nearing home. I checked my phone and saw I had a text from Boss Lady. Thank you for the lovely card! Just reading it on the train now. :-) All the best to you too...you've earned it, I'm so glad you persevered! xx

I'm not quite sure what happened, but suddenly I felt upset and could feel the tears welling up quicker than I could stop them. I tried to bite my lip and hold it in, but I didn't have the resolve. A man opposite was carrying some flowers for someone special and was smiling to himself, which somehow didn't seem to help. I looked determinedly out of the window and tried to stop the emotion from overwhelming me, but I have never been so close to actually audibly sobbing in public. I don't even know exactly why. I think it was the culmination and combination of stress and relief at the fact that this week is nearly over. More than that, I think it is the culmination of the stress of the whole past year and relief that this year is nearly over. Tears were falling down my face and I felt thankful that I am a bit Mary Poppins and carry everything in my bag, so had some tissues to hand.

I texted Lolly and asked her to make me laugh because I was embarrassing myself on the train by being in floods of tears. After two stops, I had managed to calm down slightly and replied to Boss Lady's text, before starting to write a blog on my BB to distract me. By the time I got home, I felt a little calmer. Bro-in-Law was sat in the living room when I got home and we said our hellos, before I randomly said, “No, I didn’t get Burger King for dinner, Bro-in-Law! What do you mean?! How dare you make such accusations!” He started chuckling at me and said “Feeling guilty, then?” We chatted for a bit and then Big Sis arrived home from an errand. I checked my phone and realised I had missed a call from Lolly and had a text from her, trying to make me laugh and checking I was OK. I felt tired and drained and still a bit weird, but I also felt a small sense of relief that for better or worse, things were going to change, even if just a little.