Pick Me, Pick Me!!! Or Don't. You Know, Whatever.

I have this stupid interview tomorrow. An interview for a job I haven’t even entirely convinced myself that I want, so how I will convince a panel of three senior people, I don’t know. I’m dreading it, mainly because it is an internal interview which requires me to:

1. Convince people who see me on a daily basis that I am competent and professional (no mean feat)
2. Dress in an abnormally smart manner, which won’t stand out at all considering most of the rest of the office have Casual Friday, not to mention that it is Jeans for Genes day (so our otherwise no-jeans office will probably be denim-clad)
3. Be passionate and convincing about my capabilities, my confidence in which has been gradually worn down to almost nil over the past 15 months
4. Do some sort of competency test which I will no doubt find borderline insulting, considering the work I have been doing for the past 15 months
5. Think quickly, which is going to drain me of every last energy molecule I have, considering I can barely string a coherent sentence together verbally at the moment, with this cold-induced brain fog of mine
6. Answer several ‘office-speak’ questions, none of which are directly related to the post I am applying for, and pretend to know what on earth they are talking about
7. Feign interest in something other than the increase in salary as a motivating factor
8. Take the shame of knowing that everyone else in the office will know I have an interview, because of aforementioned smart clothing, and taking the further shame of everyone therefore knowing if I am unsuccessful
9. Get to work in good time to get mentally prepared and unflustered for my interview slot at 10.00am. (Oh good gracious. Let’s hope one of the questions isn’t “Please explain why punctuality is important in the workplace…”)

In other work-related news, the innuendo-laden email conversation I had with one of my male colleagues turns out to be about the departmental Away Day. Apparently, he was in absentia too, although I don’t know what his reasons are. He might be facing some sort of disciplinary action. The latest I had heard was that I might have to take it as unpaid leave. We are meeting for lunch tomorrow to compare notes as co-conspirators. Our emails are still bantery, but at least now I can go back to not worrying that my banter is being taken the wrong way. Phew.