The Week in Review #2

It seems I never have quite enough time to write in the week, but I seem to get a quiet moment on a Friday to at least look at the week in retrospect. The days and weeks are blurring into one long mass of quickly-passing time, so I've found it quite useful to take stock on a regular basis and check my progress. My mind state has really changed in seven days. The week has passed so quickly that it seems like an age since writing this time last week. So, what happened this week?

1. I saw the English Pastor we knew when I was little. He baptised and married my Big Sis, but lives in Cyprus now. To me, he sums up everything I think a good minister should be - genuinely caring about people, personable, knowledgeable, spiritually and Biblically grounded, open-minded, humble, never too busy to have a quick chat, asks 'how are you?' and really wants to know the answer, a good hugger...I could go on. Sometimes I don't like seeing people who have known me since I was a child, because there's almost more pressure for you to have grown 'into' somebody, to have achieved great things. But it was lovely to see him. He said he was very proud of Big Sis and me. When we asked why, I got a little choked when he said, "You're good people."

2. I went to a seminar on Small Groups ministry, led by the aforementioned Pastor. It was really interesting and inspiring. In the past five years I have moved away from big churches and have been really blessed by attending small church groups, where you can really get to know other people and get involved. It has been a crucible at times; I have been challenged for sure. But I think I have grown spiritually as a result. It's encouraging to know that the apostles met in houses, not in 500-strong congregations. I learnt a lot and hope to put the ideas into practice over the coming year.

3. I got my hair cut by my Mum (yes, mums have scissors). It is a good few inches shorter than before. It wouldn't be so bad if I could tie it in a ponytail without a big bit right by my ear falling down all the time because it doesn't quite reach the hairband. But it was free. It was a free haircut and not as bad as I am making out. I generally think I'm not that vain, but things like this make me wonder otherwise...

4. I made a decision to end my long-distance relationship. I knew it would be difficult, but I thought it would be best for several reasons, including for my own slightly turbulent mindstate. My decision was mainly about the circumstances of our relationship, not the affection. I had many reasons for it and talked them over with my confidants. We hadn't been in touch for a week and my mind was set. But then I got on the phone to him and realised how strong my feelings for him are. My throat choked. He was in shock. He couldn't cope with the information. He sensed something different in my voice that said I didn't want to talk about it, my mind was made up. He didn't want this to end. He needed to think on what I had said. The conversation ended with a "to be continued." I felt miserable. Suddenly, my concrete decision was crumbling like century-old plaster. Did I seriously want to do this? I honestly wasn't sure any more.

Next day, we talk again. He understands. He accepts the reasons I had given for my unhappiness as completely valid. He knows things have to change. He wants them to change. He will respect my decision if I am still set, but senses I am not. He will give me some time if that is what I need. But we talk about things and after some discussion, he decides he is coming to see me. Unless I really don't want him to, of course. But I do, there is no question. My reaction tells me that I don't want to give up on this just yet.

5. My Dad was admitted to hospital for a second hip replacement. He had been scheduled to have it last month, but on the day of the operation, his blood pressure was too high. The anaesthetist didn't want to take any unnecessary risks and so it was postponed. Last time he was admitted, Bigger Sis was on holiday with friends in Washington D.C. I know she felt anxious, not being there. This time around, she was there. Me, Mum, Bigger Sis, Big Sis and Bro-in-Law were all there with him as he got settled in to his private room. Yes, a room on a ward for just one patient, with his own toilet, no less! On the NHS! Things have definitely improved over the past 10 years. Labour can take credit for that one, I suppose. :o)

It has been getting noticeably colder of late. The radiator in the room was on full blast and since we were all dressed for the outdoors, we were sweltering. Dad decided to change into something more comfortable. He took his shirt off and had a vest on underneath. It was a little weird at first because we were all standing around in this room, that was relatively small for six people to be standing in, and so we were just stood there awkwardly, watching him. As he started to take his vest off, we simultaneously started humming stripper music. Dad started doing a little dance and swung his vest around his head a few times. We all fell about laughing. I love my family. It doesn't matter what the situation is, we always seem to find something silly to laugh at.

The operation was successful, by the way. He'll be out and galloping about with his stubborn self, real soon. :o)

6. I went to the Doctor for the results of my blood test. I am iron-deficient again. This might be why I am feeling tired, but now I don't know if I'm just noticing the tiredness because I've been told about it. I almost wish I hadn't been told. Now I have an excuse for being lazy.

7. I tried to help the Mrs. get over a little fear she has. I realised that fear is endemic. It made me think that at some time or another, we all miss out on little life experiences and even joys because of fear. Sometimes we pretend we have a fear of failure, when really, failure is a comfort zone and we are actually afraid that we might succeed. What would we do then, in such uncharted territory?! We might actually find happiness(!)

We all have that instinctive 'fight or flight' mechanism when adrenaline kicks in, in response to a challenging situation. I wonder if we all fall into one of these personality categories: a 'fight' or 'flight' person? Some of us will meet any situation that remotely threatens us by coming out, all guns blazing. Some of us will react to any such situation by getting out of there as quickly as possible. However, sometimes we have to act contrary to type, if we want to get anywhere. We will meet a challenge that requires us to face it head-on, rather than run in the other direction, as much as we desperately want to. Or we may be put into a corner and will want to confront the situation and push our way out of there, when we really need to back down and even retreat completely. It may be difficult, it may go against our instinctive reaction, it may be damn well near impossible, but it is the only way to grow.

So, lots of lessons learned this week. A few tears shed, many smiles and sighs shared, and prayers answered.

We're getting closer to December. Good gracious. November, where did you go?