Birthday Bah Humbug

Last year, my birthday was on a Saturday.  I took the Friday off work, just to have an extra day to chill out.  I hadn't told anyone on my new team it was my birthday, and only maybe one or two people in the whole department knew.  On the Thursday evening, my was getting ready to leave (she usually goes at 4.30, whereas I am there till 5.30 or 6) and said "I hope you have a nice birthday...we got you a little something," and gave me a card and a £20 H&M voucher.  It was such a surprise (methinks she did some stalking on our records system to find out my birthday) and really thoughtful - she knows I love H&M and buy lots of my clothes there.

This year, while I wasn't expecting a present or anything, I thought they would at least give me some birthday greetings (this year my birthday is Sunday, so I have taken Monday off work).  It was getting near to home time and one-by-one my colleagues started to leave (I usually am the last to leave, as I get in the latest).  Nothing.  There was no card, but not even a Happy Birthday.  No-one remembered.

I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I was a little disappointed.  I think I take after my Mum - I act all casual about birthdays and other occasions, and in a way I am, but deep down, if no-one remembers it or seems that bothered, it bothers me.  I am one of those people who'd probably say, "No, don't get me anything, I don't want a fuss," but would be hurt if everyone took that completely literally.  I am infuriating, I know.

Lolly gave me a call as I was leaving work, as she is temporarily working nearby me.  She was walking to the same tube station as me and thought if I hadn't already got on the tube we could just meet for a quick hello.  I haven't seen her in a while, so it was nice to have a quick catch-up.  We talked for a bit, then got on the tube and talked again when we got off.  Before we went our separate ways, we wished each other a good weekend and departed.  She didn't wish me Happy Birthday, either.  Admittedly, I was already feeling sensitive, because of my colleagues forgetting.  Also, it's probably fair since I haven't yet given her the card I got for her own birthday a month ago.  I was planning to give it to her in person, but unfortunately, my plan to see her not long after her birthday didn't really work out, so here we are a month later.  But I thought she might just give me a verbal greeting.  That's not asking too much, is it?  :oP 

I'm not upset with anyone, I must just be getting emotional in my old age, lol.  It doesn't take much to set me off, to be honest.  Earlier in the day, Badges unexpectedly stopped by my desk and placed a card and small present wrapped in purple tissue paper on it.  "That's for the weekend," she said, smiling.  She is an utter sweetheart, a really thoughtful person and a genuinely lovely.  It was really sweet and a lovely surprise, it made me feel a bit teary!  Later on, I texted her to thank her for making my day, more so because my team-mates had forgotten.  She replied with sympathy, saying she had wanted to get me flowers.  I replied saying it was probably best that she didn't as I might have burst into tears!

When I got home, I picked up my post and had three birthday cards who I recognised from the handwriting as being from Bigger Sis, my Auntie Betty (always sends a card which is always the first to arrive, without fail!) and my adopted Polish Grandpa (who I've known since I was a baby, is something like 96, and always sends cards that have been typed on an old typewriter, including the envelope!).  I felt a little bit happy and a little bit sad.  Birthdays are funny old things.  I made a mental note there and then to start sending proper, snail-mail birthday cards more often.

Today, I have been getting slightly grumpier as the day goes on.  But earlier, I watched a sermon online that emphasised practising an 'attitude of gratitude' and I am trying to keep my mind in that mode.  Even if no-one remembered my birthday, God knows.  He's got me through this year, has helped me to lift myself slightly further out of depression, has kept me housed and fed and loved and knew the person I'd be before I was even born.  So I can only be utterly grateful for that.