I bumped into The Ex on his birthday (he was just getting into his car, I was going to the doctor, which inconveniently is a few doors down from his house). I felt uncomfortable, we had a chat, he looked like he was welling up at one point, he asked me to keep in touch but I said I couldn't promise that I would, we hugged and I got the hell out of there. He doesn't have my number now, but I got an email from him the next day. I ignored it.
BFTP continues to stay in the past, with no word for a whole year. He did, however, steal the 'About Me' section from my MySpace page word for word (bar a few omissions/additions) to use on his own page, then promptly deleted me as a friend. Not impressed to say the least. And he still has my picnic blanket.
I got a message from NY Guy (after several insignificant ones over several months that I ignored) that I finally decided to reply to. Turns out he's still with the girl he had started seeing properly in December (I say that, I only have his word for it, I suppose what I mean is that he told me he had decided to make a proper go of it with her in December). Yes, they are still together. In fact, they married in June. Yeah, WHAT? I know, I was shocked too, partially because a year before that, me and him were still emotionally involved, actually I think we were still together? I was thrown so much at first I got whiplash, and I suppose it hurt knowing he had so completely moved on, in a very final way. It doesn't make it any less easier to deal with if you're the one who called things off. It just sucks how guys always seem to be the ones that get on with life and find happiness sooner than girls, but maybe that's only true superficially. Funny how things move on so fast. I have seen a picture of his wife (albeit only a small one of them together I found from a bit of Facebook stalking) and she seems nice. They looked very happy and my initial reaction was to smile and actually feel happy that he had moved on and found what he was looking for. I started to feel upset about it a few days later, but I think that's just mourning of the time spent on something that never materialised. He actually apologised for that fact when he got back in touch and told me I'm a "really awesome girl", but it still doesn't get rid of the feeling that he 'won'. I don't know why the natural tendency after a relationship breaks down is to (either intentionally or subconsciously) go into competitive mode with the ex, but it just seems to be how things are. I think I've just taken a emotional battering over a number of years (admittedly partly my fault) and I'm still getting over that. Despite the things I'm getting over, I am actually happy for him. I know we weren't right for each other, I wouldn't want to be with him now and he has clearly found someone he loves enough to marry, so everything has worked out for the best. We've exchanged the occasional brief message since then, but that's all. At least we don't hate each other. I don't think.
Things with Samson continue to go well. We will have been together 10 months in a week's time. It has gone by really quickly, which I hope is a good thing. He continues to be lovely, great fun, supportive, understanding and all the other things you want from a boyfriend. It feels weird just saying that things are good and not having anything bad to say. Relationship-wise, I am actually content. I always seem to downplay it, but I think that's just in-built caution from previous all-that-glitters-is-not-gold experience. He really is a wonderful person and a great partner. I've really enjoyed being with him and hope that continues.
Work-wise, things are pretty much the same. I've seen a few vacancies elsewhere and they look promising, so have applied for one and am going to apply for the other, but I can carry on here if nothing comes of it. I just thought I really should at least apply for the things that interest me and might challenge me more than this, or at least just broaden my experience. Plus, the place I've seen the vacancies are at my old uni, which I previously thought would be a longer commute than I would like, but Samson has recently moved just down the road from it, so if I can travel there to see him, I can travel there to work for better pay. Plus, because of recent transport improvements there are more options for getting to that part of London, so that will make life easier. This is, of course, all ifs and maybes for now, but are all things that I have to take into consideration.
Samson's new place is nice. The immediate area is not the nicest or the quietest, but it is vibrant and diverse and very close to the tube station. The flat is lots more homely than the previous one and he bought a new HD telly as his contribution. Lately I've felt more at home there that at my own place, but I know that's partly because I'm just dying to get out of there and live my own life, have my own responsibilities and my own space. I'm hoping next year will be the year, but as usual, my lack of good money management, combined with debts I'm still paying off (for about another 6 months) have hindered me in that respect. But as long as I start being more disciplined and save once I have paid things off, I'm hoping that this time next year I will have moved or at least be very much on my way to doing so. Hang on, have I mentioned this before.?
I've been out a few times with Samson's friends. The majority of his good friends he knows from uni (annoyingly for me, the same one The Ex went to, but thankfully a different campus and so no mutual friends there that I know of) so there is a big group of them that are quite close-knit. Thankfully they have all been very welcoming to me and have made me feel a part of the group, but at times I'm still conscious that they are his friends and that getting to know them very well would make things awkward if we ever broke up. Negative thinking I know, but once again, just caution from experiences past. It seems to be a year of birthday events and I have been to a couple which have been good fun and there are a couple more coming up.
The Mrs had a karaoke birthday, which was lots of fun, except we didn't get to sing much karaoke (the restaurant owners seemed to pick the songs according to their own preferences rather than any sort of fair and equal selection process). But we had a good night, Samson came too, we went to see their new place afterwards, then got a cab back to the Travelodge we were staying at. It was much better spending the night in Essex than trying to get home to London after midnight. We had a fry-up brekkie the next day in a nice café and then went to our respective homes to spend the rest of the day chilling out. Was lovely to see the Mrs and her boy, but these events are too few and far between nowadays.
That's about it, I suppose. Many things are still the same, but lots of things are also improving. Maybe slowly, maybe insignificantly, but improving nonetheless.
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