On Boredom, Being a Drone and Feeling Creative

Work is so dry at the moment. We had a brief surge of activity with students who are stuck overseas and can’t get back in time for their exams emailing us, but it has quietened down again now. The document requests I deal with are coming through in small numbers and Flame Grilled has gone on leave for about 10 days after managing to just miss the tail end of the volcano ash saga and get his flight to Spain as planned. The afternoons are dragging something rotten and just about the only thing getting me through the day at the moment is spending lunch times with Samson.

I don’t think I ever mentioned it, but I have been keeping an eye on job vacancies, mainly just because my current job is a little repetitive and if a good opportunity came up, then it would probably be wise to at least apply for it. I don’t often feel challenged or that I even need to use my brain much, let alone use any creativity. I’m also still a little bit scarred and lacking in confidence from the unpleasant interview experiences I’ve had and the fact that two years of restructuring and uncertainty have taken their toll on the general morale of the department. On the flip side, the repetitive nature of the work means that while I am still ironing out my mental health issues, I can just get on with the job even when feeling low and never have to take work home or deal with an uncomfortable level of stress. I will be OK here for a while, partly because they are aware of my health issues and have been fairly accommodating/sympathetic to them (fairly).

Anyway, I saw a job several weeks back that I thought sounded really good, a role that I could sink my teeth into and might keep me on my toes a little. It was more active than this role, more varied, more flexible and generally sounded like something I would be wise to go career-wise, as well as for my own personal development (before my brain dissolves to mush from lack of use). I saw the advert on the same day it was due to close, so I spent all evening trying to get the application completed to a decent standard and barely got it in on time. A few weeks went by and I had forgotten all about it. Out of the blue, I got a phone call inviting me to interview. It was an encouraging surprise and brightened an otherwise boring day. I had to fudge the truth a little with work because it was relatively short notice, so told them I had a doctor’s appointment. I didn’t prepare as much as I should/could have, but I arrived at the interview feeling fairly calm and somewhat confident. The interview went well, there was a panel of four people, but they were all extremely nice and relaxed, not intimidating or scary. It seemed like a great place to work and a job I would probably thrive in. After the interview, I felt like I could have been a bit sharper with some of my answers and didn’t really expect to be successful. Partly because the competition in the job market at the moment is so fierce. A got a letter a few days later saying I was unsuccessful. I wasn’t surprised, but I wasn’t too disappointed. I emailed to ask for some feedback on the interview and the comments I received were quite positive. It seemed to mainly come down to the fact that the candidate they appointed had more experience relevant to the post, which isn’t something I have any control over.

Overall, it was a good experience. I needed to have an external interview just to regain my confidence a little and to help me remember that I do actually have valuable skills and experience and shouldn’t let the knocks keep me down. I also realised that I would probably really enjoy working in a creative environment. The job I applied for was in an arts-based college and just the fact that there wasn’t even a dress code as such because they expect people to be creative and expressive had a huge appeal! I’ve always been a creative person, but it’s only recently that I’ve realised that I really do need to use that creativity or I don’t feel completely whole. Being able to do that at work, in however small a way, is something. It’s where one spends the majority of the day and the majority of one’s energy. By the time I get home, I am usually just wanting to chill out completely. If I have any household chores to do too, I am completely drained and don’t have anything left to do the things I really love.

So anyway, the short term plan is to stay where I am and try and stick it out while both my attendance and outlook improve. Medium term, I am going to keep a look out for jobs in creative environments, find more ways to express my creativity and the discipline to make time for the things I enjoy. Now I need to put these theories into practice…