Recap...and Lots of Writing

I started a blog post seven weeks ago to try and explain how I had been feeling and how things had been getting on top of me. I found it hard to express myself and didn't finish it. I tried again a week or so later after speaking to my doctor and starting on medication. I still couldn't find the mental strength to write exactly what I wanted to, but got most of the way through and kept it as a draft. I've kept trying to put my experience into writing, but it's only now that I've felt able to express it properly. After having more time to process my emotions and build up the motivation and clarity of mind to understand what I wanted to say, I wrote about my feelings retrospectively. But I did want to record how I felt at the time things actually happened, so I've added to and edited the blogs I started in June and have posted them, dated on the days I started to write them.

This means that after almost two months of writer's block, my words have come back with somewhat of a vengeance, so I apologise for the tirade of emotions. I'm not sure whether I am really writing this for anyone's benefit other than my own. It has been useful for me to take stock of how I am progressing in my interaction with the world around me that we commonly call 'life,' but then, that has always been the purpose of this blog for me. It would be useful to switch off my thoughts at times, but without the capacity to do that, I guess that articulating them in this way is the next best thing. And maybe, if it helps one other person to understand their own experience a little better by way of being able to relate or empathise, or just to see things from a different perspective, then that's a glimpse of silver lining the inside of this particular cloud.