Temper, temper

You set a dangerous precedent when you're nice to people.

I rarely lose my temper. Sure, I get angry, but not to the point of full-on, raging, godzilla-like shouting matches. I'm not saying this is necesarily always a good thing. In fact, I could probably do with letting loose a little more often than I do. But I'm well aware that I have a spiteful and nasty side that surfaces in those moments of anger, and being an emotional person, I know that if I didn't keep that side in check, I would be guilty of saying so many things I would live to regret, and to be honest, probably didn't even really mean. I don't really like saying things in the heat of the moment. Of course things annoy me at times; I get irritable and am notoriously moody, but I try not to take that out on people for no good reason, if I can possibly help it. I think it's important to give people the benefit of the doubt, be patient, put yourself in their shoes. All of this is well and good until I actually do lose my temper, even if just a little bit.

The second I let my guard down and let a bit of the feisty side show, the reaction is all, "Ooohh, Em's getting mean!" Arrrrrgggghhhhh! That really is a sure-fire way to get me angry, for real. Why do we come down hard on people when they slip, but cut plenty slack to those who are consistently that way? Why are we harsher with those we have higher expectations of, whether they have asked for those expectations or not? It seems a little unfair at times. But when you set a precedent with your behaviour, you set yourself up for criticism when you don't live up to it. It's a tough one. You want to be a good person, but by your very actions you make your mistakes more glaringly obvious in comparison.

So, what to do? Be consistently bad, so that your one good act will shine like a little star in the midst of your darkness??? :o) It's tempting, lol, but I know I won't be doing that. It's not who I want to be, and more importantly, it's not actually who I am. I don't want any awards for trying my best to be a good person. All I'd like is a little slack when I inevitably mess up.